You're The Toxic One, Babe ✌🏼
In this behind-the-scenes scoop, women’s identity & strength mentor Maggie Boillot, confronts a truth that most are unwilling to acknowledge: the most toxic person in your life is yourself.
A Little About The Guest.
Maggie Boillot is an identity and alignment mentor with over 15 years in the wellness and fitness industry. She helps people reconnect with themselves through honesty, intention, and embodied movement.
As the creator of the AWARE Method, founder of HerSpace, and host of The Shhhhit We Don’t Say Out Loud, Maggie leads bold, honest conversations around identity, awareness, and the patterns that keep people stuck.
Her grounded yet powerful approach bridges fitness and identity work, helping people build confidence, clarity, and alignment that actually lasts.
You can connect with her here:
The Guest Deep-Dive.
1. What were the unhealed wounds you had that kept you stuck inside a 10 year toxic relationship?
Oh man, there were too many to count, and honestly they each held a different level of betrayal to myself. I think the one that sticks out the most to this day is worthiness. I never believed that I was worthy of love or respect, so I allowed certain behaviors in my life to keep me in the cycle of infidelity, lies, and manipulation. I was brainwashed into believing that was as good as it gets. It is what I chose, so it must be what I am worthy of.
Another one that I think most of us don’t realize is toxic on multiple levels is negative self-talk. The thoughts I had on repeat kept me in a downward spiral. No matter how hard I tried to push them away, they would override, and I would go right back to the default setting and pick myself apart even before the day started.
The last one that I think many of us women relate to is comparison to others or even where you think you should be. I found myself in a trap thinking I must not be the woman who can create success, find a loving partner, or live a happy life. I would say it wasn’t meant for me, or I can’t be like “her.” What a load of BS, and once again it was the toxic relationship I had within myself.
I had to end the war within to unlock the life I knew I desired deep down under all of the toxic traits, because what you desire, you deserve. It took me a long time to realize the only person who could change my circumstances and life was ME. The day I chose to understand was the day my life changed. I am now living the life I prayed for.
2. Can you talk about a time where you were the toxic one inside a relationship, and what you have since realized?
I was toxic in my most current relationship… because I hadn’t healed the wounds entirely, and I also wasn’t ready to feel held, supported, and loved because I never had experienced that.
The hardest relationship we don’t talk about, besides the one with yourself, is the first healthy one after a toxic one. My life inside my toxic relationship was chaos all the time, so when my current life felt “boring,” I felt like I needed to cause drama because it didn’t feel “normal.” I would find things to argue about that were not important, and it affected the relationship until I realized not all relationships are supposed to feel like a roller coaster that came off its track.
A healthy one can feel soft, gentle, and more like swinging in a hammock in pure bliss. That is what we all crave, but so many of us believe it isn’t possible. I am here to tell you it is!
3. What are the standards that you now have for love (both with yourself and with others)?
COMPASSION. We are all doing the best that we can, and healing the wounds takes time. Allowing one another space to breathe and regulate, if you will.
SOFTNESS. Being gentle with one another and giving each other grace. Being open and honest about your feelings and not shoving them under the rug or silencing your truth.
RESPECT. Treat me the way you would want to be treated. Talk to me about the things that are bothering you. I don’t know what I don’t know. It’s the best when you can respect one another for flaws and imperfections. We all have them, and we need to cherish them. After all, it is the uniqueness we were attracted to in the first place.
AUTHENTICITY. Be fully YOU. Take off the masks and show me all of you—the good, the bad, the ugly, and EVERYTHING in between. I don’t want to find out later you are a totally different person because I am never dimming my light again to make someone else feel safe in my smallness.
4. What is the fastest or most effective way for you to reclaim your power and remember your worth when moments of doubt creep in?
Pause and sit in silence. It is the loudest noise you need to hear. Silence the outside noise, the expectations you have on yourself and others that are made-up BS, and get back into your AWAREness.
You know what is your truth. You know what you are worthy of. So when you stop and bring yourself back to the present moment, you can let go of the control you have on your mind and allow for positive thoughts to surface. When they do, simply thank yourself for coming back to yourself and ending the war within.
5. What loving but blunt AF advice do you have for the woman who is constantly pointing a finger outside of herself while refusing to look inward?
It isn’t ANYONE else’s fault but your own… You are the creator, the author, and the main character of your life, so if you don’t like it, CHANGE it.
It isn’t the outside circumstances, it isn’t karma, it isn’t the infamous saying “it is what it is”… it’s you against you. And if you want to be happier, healthier, more grounded, and have healthier relationships, it’s simple… come into your AWAREness and accept it for what it is, but be willing to change at least one thing to align with a new version of yourself and release all the old outdated BS to experience a new level.
See what I did there?! I spelled out AWARE, and that is the method that changed my life because every thought, feeling, emotion, and action is created through AWAREness.
6. What are all the ways that you currently romanticize your own life?
Smile at everything. Thank myself for choosing faith over fear and choosing to be free. I allow myself to be proud of the small things and celebrate them with my loving man.
I also just sit sometimes and breathe in and out in gratitude for what I once thought was impossible. I fucking love my life, and I created it only through self-AWAREness.
I also want to say the power in smiling at yourself in the mirror and being your truest, most authentic friend is something I could have never imagined. It’s rewarding when you can feel the love from within and know that the war is over.
I almost surrendered to the life I had before, and fuck, I am glad I woke up to my own AMAZINGNESS and burned my life down at 35 to start over.
EXCLUSIVE OFFER
If you felt something reading this…that pull in your chest… that “holy shit, this is me” moment. That’s your truth trying to get your attention.
You don’t need another plan.
You don’t need more discipline.
You need to come back to yourself.
Inside my 8-week Become HER AWARE Lifestyle Experience, we walk through that together body, mind, and identity.
For this community, I’m offering 20% off let’s connect and see if this is your next aligned step. DM AWARE to claim your free connection call (on Instagram).
This is your moment to stop abandoning yourself… and finally choose you.
The Podcast Deets.
When it comes to conversations on toxic relationships, we're usually quick to point a finger outside of ourselves and share the story of what so-and-so did to us.
But how often are we pausing to reflect on our own personal baggage? When's the last time YOU did a reality check on your own 'red flags'? If you're like most of us, it's probably been a while (if ever)- and that's something we need to talk about.
Therefore, in today's Friday's with Friends episode, Maggie Boillot is here to illuminate some hard-to-hear truths and trigger you in the best way possible.
Together we're exploring the mirrors of your reality, how the most toxic relationship you're in is the one with yourself, and what it means to truly heal your wounds so that you can do better and attract better into your life.
Let's dive in baby!
The Most Toxic Relationship You're In Is The One With Yourself [with Maggie Boillot]